Musings from Empire Records. by Gavin

This one's going to be just a short note. I'm exhausted and to be honest this whole ordeal hasn't left me in the biggest blogging mood.

My fiancee, the most beautiful, amazing, intelligent, perfect woman in the world had successful surgery to remove a cyst in her right breast today. The doctor is pretty certain it's not cancerous but I guess I'll know more in the coming days. She's resting now. Thank you to any and all who've sent positive thoughts our way. I can never repay you. This whole thing has been hell for me and I'm glad that finally we're almost totally past it. I can't imagine how Erin was able to deal with this with the strength that she showed. While I was privately collapsing on the inside, she was a tower of strength. Sure I tried to keep my cool outwardly but she gets to see all those private moments. There's not a lot of people that I drop my barriers for, she's the only one that I drop all of them too. I think that the biggest reason for her going to the doctor again when she did was because of my fears. Not that my fears weren't justified...I mean she did NEED to have surgery to remove the cyst. Still, to watch her is to see someone who can look fear in the eye and not blink. Hell, I think she made fear blink. I mean to her this seemed like an inconvience, but something that had to be done, while to me it was like "the love of my life might have cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It doesn't look like that's the case though. She's resting now and I need to do that same.

I honestly don't know that positive thinking creates that much of a difference but when you don't have very many options it certainly helps one feel better. I think it's the idea that other people are also hoping for a good outcome, not just one person hoping by themselves. The collectiveness of it makes the "hope" stronger, more comforting. And maybe, just maybe, that helps. So to those who sent some positive wavelengths this way, thank you. Thank you so much.