Woke up late from a hard-blackout this morning. Last night I did cocaine for the first time. And I did a lot. I don't think I actually overdosed, but outside of feeling incredibly awesome, the constant stream of blood coming out of my left nostril was a little alarming. Luckily the woman (?) I was with didn't seem to mind – she was more concerned with how quickly she could get into the kiddie pool we'd filled up with canola oil. One of the good things about my apartment is that you can do stuff like this without making too much of a mess – you just have to put a tarp down. Did you know that blood and oil have the same reaction as water and oil? I didn't. I was too busy feeling awesome. Long night. Really long night. The worst part was chiseling all the dried blood and cocaine (unsalvageable, unfortunately) out of my moustache this morning.

Just kidding.

I've never done cocaine. And I most definitely will never grow a moustache.

Beauty's parents visited Friday night and Saturday. Needless to say they were shocked when we surprised them with the news of our engagement. Man, her parents rock. There was hugs all around. I think I even saw her mom cry a tear of happiness, swear to god.

I haven't told my parents yet. I don't really plan on seeing them much until sometime in August. There traveling, or busy and I'm busy as well. Scar Tissue has shows this month on the 13th, the 20th and the 24th at Slegdesters, Billies Bar, and the Variesty Theatre respestively.

Man. Fuck I'm so excited. I've had this feelign of euphoria ever since Beauty said that magical little world. "Yes" is the best word in the english language I've decided. Every time I talk to any of my phriends I want to tell them but I'm under strict orders from her not to tell them on the chance that they might break the news to my parents and she wants to tell them face to face. She's sweet like that. I think she's right too. I'd like them to hear it from me instead of second hand.

Hope your weekends been killer.

Peace.
Out.

PS. Oh yeah almost forgot, saw the movie Sicko. I know Michael Moore's a pretty polarizing figure but I highly recommend this movie. Speaking as someone who went for 9 months without any real health insurance at one time in my life it's an issue that's pretty important to me. I mean why do we get education, military, police, and fire department services for free but we should get healthcare?

I asked Beauty to marry me.

She said "are you serious?" but in a really shocked and excited way.

Than she quickly said "Yes."

YAY!

There's a young building across the street
that'll never get a chance to stand up on two feet.
They'll tear her down alright.
Erect something younger and more modern.
There are no castles in this town.
Nothing really lasts
and nothing sticks around.

Funny how good things avoid this place
like blatant violations of the new imperial correctness.
Empires, hhhmmmm...who's got the time to read these days?
I tried riding the bus for a while
but I couldn't stop moving.
And somehow, I'm never where the bus stops.
Tragedies of land sharks, I suppose.
Fill me up and I'll stay awake forever.
Strange though, moving around so much
seems to make the other sharks neverous.
They stop smelling their own and start fleeing the frenzy.
Frenzy to frenzy, trails to entrails.
Just keep moving the water past the gills.

I made it onto the 64 once.
And I sat pretty motionless
while my toe tapped to spite the rest of me.
Reminded me of my true nature.

On the buses you see the mugs filled with ragwater bitters.
Dry hands from too much wasing, empty pockets and babysitters.
The kind of folks who dabble in antiseptic arts,
scalding steam platters, porcelain thrones, sweet chocolates on pillowcases.

Universtiy and Snelling Ave.
Those cross roads when I'd go wandering
when I had my fill of bourbon and needed
to wax ecstatic sprinkler across the great midway.

I met Otis Reddings brother at a 2am bus stop.
He clapped and sang while I did the stomp,
the mashed potato and the lickity split.
Dancing like a monkey and looking like a kid.
The first word in the "Trend Bar" sign.
Just two blocks more where frogtown
got pregnant, then hitched, then took a hike.

There's a man in a motorized cart with an american flag
dragging on the back, who calls this place End times.
Lounge Apocalyptica.
Store fronts bathed in the oscillating red and blue.
Snow white drunks.
I keep a dancing step and drag it further down,
put out a cigar and maw on it tell I can't smell anything
but my grandpa's knuckles against my nose.

There's a junkie. That used to mean heroin.
But it's more these days.
Cause there's more popular ways to make the street burn brighter.
A methheads method.
A gargoyle still, filled with monshine and rhinestones
and a strippers heels.
There's really no end now,
not even in Frogtown, on the outskirts of downtown.

Strips of newspaper blow and catch against my shins.
I remember reading about the body they found.
Wrists and ankles bound and burned, probably alive.
Across the river they gun you down,
but not in my town.

In my town they do you good and proper,
they do you with style.
They make your corpse a legend,
better n'dyin' young and leaving a beautiful corpse.

I get mugged by a thug and stabbed in the eye.
And I get up, dust off my gills and have at one more dance.
I do the jerk past the French Viatnamese bakery,
near where the old porno house used to be.
Now the place is filled with books and they call it a community library.

There came a bag lady shovin' me out of the way,
cross the hood of a jetta, blue with a new crimson spray.
And I'm flying baby.
Wings to a shark, now a bird.
This shark filled up with booze and ragwater bitters.
And with my last bloody breath in that last flying fish moment:
"Jesus Christ," is said, "This is the good shit."

Still a little hungover. Don't know why I'm awake. I'm pretty sure it's because Beauty's spending the night at her parents house. She misses them like crazy when she's away. I understand this. I miss my sister.

Last nights show was fucking awesome. The JW was more than spot on with his sticks. He brought borrowed the hammer of god from john bohnem actually John burrowed it from him but that's a whole 'nother story.

Crowd was fan-f'ing-tastic. The 400 bar? Greatest place on earth in the greatest city on earth. The city of summits? The summit of cities.

I've given my hand at writing again, thought it's been only like a month since I really tried to write a poem instead of a song. damn I wish I took at poetry class in college than I might have some clue as to how your actually supposed to construct a poem. What the hell, here's what I got. Hope your weekends rocked as well.

Learning to read, again.
Like picking up words in a place like Germany or Mexico.
Proficiency helps, fluency was born in a manger.
I read it aloud. This voice is not mine.
More than just making the sounds, but hearing them
conducting their immediacy;
Pushing the remainders deep into subconscious
Waters to be dragged,
when the story ends and I can't sleep
A full night without knowing the truth;
I'll need to see the bodies,
Water-logged and unrecognizable as they may be.
Letters from a friend, not so much a puzzle,
as a separated thought that I can't assemble
There are too many pieces from other puzzles
With odd cuts and thicknesses
And indecipherable images.
I get distracted.
I
Get distracted
I get
Distracted…
Sentences stand amassed and, despite the even rows,
independent of each other,
My mind enters department stores at Christmastime
Below the lights and gold and green and red,
Along the rows of irresistible holiday
purchase bliss, Mothers wait,
some patiently and others not so patiently,
Stand line-running the length of the shopping day,
Squirming offspring; naughty, nice, and otherwise,
Jostling for the prized perch of Santa's knee.
Mothers' fear to hear their children's requests,
For lack of means to finance dreams,
This year may be the year,
In which the little ones learn
"It's been me and daddy all along."
Before that day, the children believe.
They'll believe in anything.
In their universe, it is still perfectly reasonable to
Approach an old fat man, take
Fifteen seconds to sit and speak.
A photo for posterity.
Pushy, minimum-wage elves mopping
A puddle of piss.
"I don't think I'm coming home."
My grammar fails me for the first time, I think, ever
These should be easy words, no more than two syllables
Apostraphe'd contractions.
I set it down, 'fore I read it again.
Breahte.
Push.
I try reading slowly, sounding it out
In the end, they're all just letters in mother-shaped words,
Each awaiting their turn, To present
their squirming offspring, line-waiting
Each with its own impossible Christmas wish,
A photograph,
And puddle of piss.
My expectations fold
"I'm getting used to being alone."

Going back to bed. Peace. Out.

Christmas letters aren't really my thing. I don't know why but I've never really enjoyed reading them. I feel like everyone tries to hard to make the past year of there life seem really great, like if they didn't tell you just how absolutely fantastic there camping trip was than how could the year be summed up?

With that said I'm about to step into hypocrite territory. I'm familiar with this place, we all are. My friend Amy recently brought it to my attention that I did infact write a christmas letter last July and recently inquired if I was going to be sending out another. I must have been bored then when I wrote it. I'm bored now I guess so what the hell.

Music.
Man the first half of 2007 has been off the hook. Scar Tissue closed down Professor Java's in January. Literally. I still miss the place when I think about large men with huge white beards not named Santa Claus. The professor could make the best mochas this side of the sun. I hope he's happy in his early retirement. I hope I get the chance to chill with him again sometime. What else. We (scar tissue) were on hiatus for much of the first half of the year but we finished the half strong with 2 shows in June and another coming up. We've already got tons of shows lined up for July and the second half of the year is going to be filled with surprises. Here's one for ya. WE'RE GOING TO RECORD ANOTHER DEMO IN AUGUST. nothing big, probably like 4 or 5 songs.

Notes on a few friends.
JS (Bassist for scar tissue, as well as resident noise maker) and his ladyfriend Jill have been hitting the whole romance scene hard for the past 6 or 7 months. They've been together for like a year, damn it's already been that long, but like tap water they ran hot and cold for the first few months.
JW (drummer for scar tissue and altogether amazing phriend) is still engaged to Kim.
I recently said good by to my close friend Ricky. For those of you who don't know or remember Ricky was the drummer for Skyline Sketches. A two man band he and I started just for fun. That project lasted about a year. Nobody was cooler in a crisis then Ricky. Nobody was also less sober during a few crisis' either but he was always there with a shoulder to cry on and a palm to slap. He moved back home to New Orleans last month and will be sorely missed.

Love life.
Beauty is amazing. She is not only the most wonderful woman in the world but I'm beginning to suspect that she was put on this earth for me, and I for her. We haven't made it to as many plays and concerts as we'd like too or did last year but that's because we've been busy being into eachother. Digging eachother. You know, cuddling, kissing, making googily eyes and all that other stuff you do when your so desperately in love that if you don't hear the voice of that person you might die. yeah, I feel like that at the moment and I think I'm going to give her a call at work just to say hi. I love it when she does that to me. So anyways love is good right now. I've also decided that I'm going to marry Beauty. She doesn't know yet, I've got this idea of how I'm going to ask in my mind but first I need to buy the ring. Before I do that thought I'm trying to get the smaller of my two student loans paid off. I should be done with that soon. Let's keep this our secret ok because I'm pretty sure she doesn't know and I want to surprise her.

Life in general.
Life's been grand. I've played a few acoustic shows and with the break of Scar Tissue looking more and more like a reality I might try to do that more. I've found out that I really like playing acoustically at coffee houses such as Tabula on campus. Great crowd. Great atmosphere. And great coffee, what more could I ask for. I got a promotion at work but that doesn't mean a lot. I have more responsibility and I don't get paid that much more. I still hate the job but with Beauty not graduating until december I've put off the job hunt for a while and focused on writing, and just living life the best that I can.

I hope you all are doing great. I know it's early but merry christmas.