Hello to you and you and you. A lot has been happening; a great deal, I think. Lots of shifts in how things have been going. Like yupomh s gre liws over from where you normally put your fingers on the keyboard. Maybe not just that. I'm pretty sure about having a classic crossroads situation. Completely unoriginal mid-twenties stuff like "Looking at who I've been in one direction and looking at who I think I want to be." This is mostly along behavioral and moral lines – yes, I think I'm finally getting a sense of non-malleable personal morality. Figuring out some things that I've done over the years and red-faced realized how silly things have been from time to time. . .Not that I haven't always had a sense of right and wrong, but that's always been shifting. Relative from one day to the next.

I think some people call this growing up. I'm okay with growing up, just as long as I don't let myself grow old. Of course, it will happen. Up will happen. Old will happen. I think the degree of each is up to us, though.

There are things that keep me young – that can keep anyone young. Still grown up, but young. Dancing in the grocery store. That helps. Finding new music. Jesus Christ, when I think back on how much time I spent worrying about how people saw me; how I looked; making a good impression; being accepted. Like the whole honeymoon period in dating; where you dress up real nice, you're in the best shape of your life because you've been working out with all the spare time on your hands, you go on lots of dates at nice places you don't normally go, you floss. FLOSS man. You floss! (And don't forget that Flossing is importmant). Not that I'm dating, though I guess I am...because I'm ENGAGED! I'm a pleaser, if you can imagine that. And sometimes I think I'd rather not be. I think it would just be easier. But that's not the way I am. I don't roll that way. I'm pretty easy to talk into doing something. This is me. This is how it can get sometimes." And be accepted with open arms. Eh. Leave it alone. It's a stillborn thought.

I guess it's kind of a "hello world. This is me" mountaintop kind of thing. It's exciting, but scary. Cause there's a whole lot of me that ain't pretty, let me tell you, that I don't necessarily want to broadcast to all the shining world.

Late night binges of tequila and captain morgan. That's one thing that wasn't pretty. Not that I was alcoholic, I never did it that often, but it was more of an attitude where someone would ask if I'd want to join them and I'd say "Hell yes." It's that whole wanting to please others thing. I stopped that a while ago. Turning my back on the juice almost completely save for a few times here and there. My fiance helped with that, made me want to do that.

Isn't it strange how letting go of something can feel better than holding on? Walking into fear generally makes me feel strong. Thinking of new ways of doing old things tingles my brain and whatnot.

Speaking of which, here comes the big tie-in. I don't think I'm the only one, I hope not anyways. Sometimes I can get edgy in the car. Am I alone in this? I wont list the myriad reasons. We all know them. I've taken, instead of swearing at the ridiculous drivers of the world that inconvenience my various commutes, to encouraging them. Like aperson who won't thread the needle when there's an opening when she's waiting to make a left turn. One of those instances when there would be just enough room for my car to get through on the yellow, if they'd only put the pedal to the metal. "Come on!" I shout, like a supportive coach rooting for the 3-year winner of the hustle award, " You can do it! We can do this together!" If they don't do it and I'm stuck at the light for another 5 minutes, I'm still filled with a sense of encouragement. It's wonderful. Not sunshine on my fucking shoulders happy, but definitely not sulking the way I normally would.

Cheer for your dim fellows of the road. The cell phone drivers and the people who should have had their licenses taken away long ago. They need your support. Your good energy. Your encouragement. Even those driving 15 in a 40 would benefit more from your cheers than your tailgating. And if not, at least you certainly would.

Be well. Be good.

Be excellent to each other.

Love and rocks.