What ups?

It's been a little while. Sorry y'all. Just haven't felt much like blogging lately. I'm pretty sure that no good can come from blogging, yet I do it anyways. Hypocrite with a capital "H." Yep that'd be me I guess, but in all honesty it's probably most of us.

So my Beauty definitly has a cyst in right breast. She got an ultrasound from her doctor. She's going to be having surgery on the 7th of November to remove it. I'm still nervous as hell about this. I mean how the fuck does a body do this to itself? You want to see true, hardcore fearlessness than you should get to know my fiance. I mean to her it's like nothing's even going on. Like this is routine or some shit. I guess she did have to have a cyst removed way back when she was in 9th grade so this will be the second time but damn if her and I don't deal with this differently.

I don't really act too nervous or stressed outwardly, I mean I don't want her to feel that way. But I let her know how I feel. For like a week she kept promising me that she'd go back to her doctor before she finally did. I'm pretty sure she ended up going more to make me happy than because she felt like she really needed too. I guess I don't know what to say except that it's tough when a loved one has something like this happen to them. You get to thinking all kinds of bad things. "What if she has cancer?" Fuck. I mean I can deal with a lot of things. In my 25 years of life 3 of my friends have already died. 2 by there own hand. 1 of them was one of my best friends in high school. You don't really deal with these things, you just sort of keep moving. There's no way in hell I want to add the love of my life to this list. It's probably selfish of me to say this but between her and me I want to die first. I just don't know what I'd do if I lost her. Thankfully it shouldn't have to come to this. Still, I can't wait for her operation to be over.

Damn. I was going to type something about halloween and how awesome it is. If you didn't know Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's dark. It's got atmosphere. Everything this time of year seems scarier. The parties are awesome. And the candy. As Erin says "Halloween is the only time of year that a girl can dress like a total slut and get away with it." Yeah that's probably a plus too.

Happy Rocktober.